just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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