how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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