I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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