Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
