it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
