Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
