He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
