birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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