She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you would pick up someone in the library
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
