apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
