I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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