so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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