I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
40s are totally the cure
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
