Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I will be naked everywhere
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
