his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
