You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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