I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Everclear isn't food dammit
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
