What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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