we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We're too hungover to prance.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
