Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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