Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
