god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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