i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
