I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
