if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
