How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
