i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
