he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
