2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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