Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
no you cant smoke seaweed
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
