im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Congratulations! We have a period
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
