that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
