he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
