woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
