I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
