What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
