Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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