Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
ugly people sure do ruin things
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
