hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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