I bet he comes in French.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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