he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
