people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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