Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Two words: nipple clamps
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