Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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