i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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