If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
