im drinking this country out of the recession.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
