You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
