Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
