so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have fence marks all over my body
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
