well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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