why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
