So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
