oh god the rape fog is back!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
