Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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