There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
