My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
