College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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