He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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