Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
