what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
