Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
In America we eat man semen.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
