Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize