last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
