Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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