Whod you bang
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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