No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
