So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
