it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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