Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
