it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
