Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
why is half of my head shaved?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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